Overbearing Mothers

mommiedearestMy relationship with my mother is toxic and much to her disappointment, it doesn’t work for me anymore. My mother is the classic overbearing mother. It certainly doesn’t help that we live next door to each other, but that will soon be changing. I’m moving out of my house (although I don’t know yet where I’m moving to) because I need to put some space between us, and I’ll never be able to grow up living under her proverbial thumb.

I googled overbearing mothers and came across this article by Sandra Peterson. It says so perfectly what the child of an overbearing mother (a.k.a. me) has trouble communicating. Please read:

What Does an Overbearing Mother Look Like?
An overbearing mother is one who hovers over her offspring, behaving as if the child cannot function adequately without her instruction. She expects him to obey without asking questions or defying her demands. If the child resists, she manipulates him to get her own way through tears, anger, the silent treatment or threatening to stop loving him. The child is not allowed to make choices for himself. If he does make a choice, the mother tears apart the decision, assuring failure of the child’s self-initiated efforts. An overbearing mother is sometimes referred to as a helicopter mother. Her overprotective ways smother the child’s independence and growth.

The Child Becomes an Adult
The grown child of an overbearing mother will be emotionally immature. She does not know how to express her feelings, make decisions or assert her independence. She will not exercise her right to say no to authority figures such as employers. Instead, she will be driven to perform and gain their approval. The adult child of an overbearing mother might cave in to peer pressure because she has been taught to obey her mother’s rules without having been given the reasons for those rules. She might do things she has been taught was wrong to avoid conflict with others or to earn acceptance, love and approval. Any relationship with a significant partner or spouse will be strained until the child of the overbearing mother redefines the boundaries between herself and her mother. An adult who has been raised by an overbearing mother will have difficulty believing anyone can love her unconditionally.

You can read the full article here on eHow.com


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